By Brian Shorey

Hey Sports Fans!  We’re just a couple of weeks away from the second running of the New England 24 Hours of LeMons. Kevin Redden covered the venue pretty well last month, so I thought I’d bring everybody up to date on the car itself.

We’re running the same Milano as we ran last year — a 1988 Verde 3.0. There are two other teams also running the same Milanos as they ran last year — so much for the non-reliability of Italian cars! Ours was running pretty well at the finish, with two problems. First, we felt something in the front suspension; and second, we had an engine stuttering problem coming out of one corner, which unfortunately was the corner leading onto the only straight with any real passing opportunities. So our list of things to do for car preparation this year was pretty simple — fix the issues from last year, update the car based on some new safety rules added for this year, and spend a little time on some, uhhh, thematic items.

The maintenance items were pretty easy to address. We found that the castor bushings were hammered; a call to Performatek resulted in a new set of poly bushings that should withstand whatever abuse we can throw at them. The engine stuttering problem had us scratching our heads; we suspected that our fuel gauge may have been off, so we started by draining the fuel system, which is where things got interesting. As we were finishing the race last year, we had to do a quick splash-and-go with about 20 minutes left in the race, as we were running out of fuel. That got us through the race, with what we figured to be a gallon or two left in the tank. When we pulled the cover off the car earlier this spring, we couldn’t get it started; however, when we added fuel, it started right up. We figured that the car must have been empty at that point, and we poured in five gallons. We had run the car a bunch since that time, so as we drained the tank we figured that a 5 gallon can would hold everything.

14 gallons later, we knew we had a fuel pickup problem. Yup, we drained 14 gallons! We ended up pulling the tank, and found that the in-tank filter was clogged. This left us with a usable fuel capacity of probably 7-8 gallons or so, which left 9-10 gallons of fuel as permanent ballast!

The new safety rules were pretty easy to address. We had to add an electrical shutoff switch, do some welding on the rear bulkhead to isolate the fuel tank from the passenger compartment, and encase the fuel lines inside the car in metal.

That left us with the thematic items, and we decided on two. First, in the "Banned Technology" category, we tried for something functional and fun. So we fabricated a pair of wings made out of pizza boxes, and built up some linkages from the DeDion rear suspension. Now, when the brakes are applied, the rear end lifts, and the wings raise! We’re sure that this will result in much better adhesion in the turns!

The second item is sure to be controversial. But first, a little up-front explanation is in order. The LeMons organizers place cones in strategic places around the track, in order to control flow and keep drivers in some semblance of order. To minimize protests from drivers who think they might be unfairly called in, they attach little packets of ketchup or mustard to the cones, so if a car hits one there will be some "evidence" on the bumper. We decided to design and build what we believe to be the first on-board weapons system in LeMons (or perhaps any racing organization) history — an integrated, pressurized ketchup dispenser! Ours is strategically located in the trunk, so that if we’ve got somebody following too closely behind us, we can leave some "evidence" on his front bumper. Given the Peoples Curse award, we don’t intend to have this powered up until the second day of racing, after the award has been presented.

This year’s event is gearing up to be a whole lot more fun than even last year’s was, if not for the drivers then certainly for the spectators! Don’t miss it, and please stop by the paddock and say
hello!

Links:

• Stafford Motor Speedway

• New England 24 Hours of LeMons

[Having witnessed this debacle last year, I can guarantee that the 24 Hours of LeMons is likely to be the most fun you’ll have at any sort of car event! Be there when the racing begins at noon on Saturday — you don’t want to miss a thing! —Ed.]