MILAN, ITALY, April 1, 2004 — Fiat Auto Group today announced that, after a hiatus of nearly ten years, it will resume sales of its evocative Alfa Romeo line of automobiles in the United States next Tuesday. Prior statements had pegged the reintroduction of the popular sports models at no earlier than 2010, if even that soon.

Responding to an increasingly belligerent groundswell within the American populace demanding that citizens be able to purchase new Alfas, Fiat executives held an unscheduled press conference today and made the pronunciation to an ebullient automotive press corps. Six cargo ships laden with over two thousand of Alfa Romeo’s sportiest and most powerful production models have already left the port of Genoa and are steaming toward Albuquerque, New Mexico, Fiat’s hastily-chosen port of entry.

United States auto giant General Motors owns a 20% stake in Fiat Auto Group. Earlier reports of Alfa’s return to the US market in 2004, 2005, and 2007 had suggested that Alfa Romeo products would be sold through GM’s Cadillac or Saab divisional retail outlets. However, today’s announcement stated that, lacking the time required to properly train the requisite sales and service personnel within the GM infrastructure, they would instead be sold and serviced through a loosely-organized, yet-to-be-named network of motor scooter repair shops. A Fiat official predicted that buyers would not notice any difference between the level of customer support offered by this consortium and that which they experienced before Alfa quit the US market back in the mid-‘90s.

Although the announcement of Alfa’s return to US shores didn’t surprise some automotive insiders, a second announcement at today’s press conference did. Paying homage to the 50th anniversary of the debut of Alfa’s trend-setting Giulietta sports car in 1954, Alfa Romeo announced that it has begun shipping its new, super-secret ultimate roadster produced exclusively for the US market, dubbed the Giuliani. With its high-revving twin-cam all-alloy 1300cc four cylinder engine, synchronized transmission gears, monocoque body, 15-inch wheels, independent front suspension, elegant yet understated Pininfarina styling, roll-up windows, and nimble handling in a package weighing just 1950 pounds, it is said to be a marvel of modern sports car design.

Alfa Romeo fanatics all over America have begun dancing in the streets at the prospect of being able to buy the little Italian sports cars that they so cherish, and to experience once again the joys of getting to know their car repair mechanics really well, watching the values of their purchases plummet before their eyes, and standing by helplessly as rust starts blooming on every body panel. There is joy within the US Alfa Romeo community, and industry analysts foresee a market share for the marque every bit as successful as their past forays in the States.